This last week I have been looking at contentment as part of the simplicity chapter in God Hunting. On the whole I would say that I am content. I certainly don’t dwell on having the latest gadget, a huge house or tons of money. I have always had a dream of owning a house by the sea – a holiday retreat but we all need dreams as long as they don’t become obsessions. I’d also like a bigger kitchen and wish we had two rooms downstairs instead of the one (which was two rooms knocked into one before we moved in) but we get by and yes we could probably have a kitchen extension – we must be the only one in our road without one – but it only bugs me when two many people are in there at the same time (two is crowd!), Christmas (juggling plates and dishes) or we need an appliance fixed (if the washing machine goes wrong the repair man won’t have room to pull it out to get to the back and don’t think about turning it! When we installed it we had to take all the drawers out of the units and the nobs off the cooker to squeeze it through – I was nearly in tears. Next time it will have to be a slimline one – standards are too big). Still at least I have a home and a washing machine and when you think about it I am so much better off than many in the world who have no home, little food and unclean water. Even here in the UK there are many sleeping on the streets and families struggling to get by each day.
We don’t tend to buy new things just for the sake of it – we wait for the old ones to break. I watch house programmes on TV where they go and say ‘this kitchen needs a complete overhaul’ and I think why? It looks perfectly okay and is bigger than my kitchen! We have become pulled into the fashionable house syndrome changing everything every few years. The only thing I envy is how tidy some people’s homes are and no one here seems to realise how the ‘mess’ upsets me. When things are tidy I feel more relaxed and that’s part of my personality, that it does affect me, but no one else understands and that gets to me at times and so my discontent is really down to the untidiness of those I live with and sometimes I long for a room to escape to which is totally mine and has no one else’s junk in it. I don’t see how I can change that so I just live with it and I’m not sure that this comes into the discontent category but where else do I put it?
We did once consider moving but when we looked at properties we realised the third bedrooms, which is very small in ours, were actually smaller than what we already had! We couldn’t afford much anyhow so we decided to stay where we are. We shall probably be here forever as I have no real desire to move elsewhere. If the kids EVER move out I might even get a room for myself!